Every time you think you have it, something happens and you realise you don’t. You again feel like that failure. You think that you are doing everything wrong and every choice you make is completely detrimental to your babies (regardless of how old they are).
Now as a disclaimer I understand that all parents feel this way regardless of whether you are raising an autistic child, ADHD or neurotypical. The reason I feel that this is a little more relevant for those raising neurodiverse children is, we will be responsible for our children (in most cases) for longer than if they were neurotypical, certainly in terms of their day to day life and due to our children not following/understanding social norms, we are generally more publicly judged by others (I am sorry if this offends anyone but this is my opinion).
That’s where I am right now.
Both Riley and Samantha are struggling and I don’t know how best to help them as I can’t figure out what is causing their behaviours.
I mean even as I am saying that I can probably think of at least five reasons as to why they might be struggling more at this time but I am still feeling quite lost.
Samantha is shut down more, spending more time away from family and when she is around she is picking for an argument. Now yes, I understand that this is ‘typical’ teenage behaviour however for Samantha this is how she has behaved since 18 months old whenever her anxiety is high. As she is unable to communicate when she is struggling, these behaviours are how I have always been able to judge her anxiety levels.
Riley is sensory seeking and struggling with his regulation. Throwing himself around, redecorating my bathroom in a way no parent wants, and his meltdowns have increased ten fold. His food consumption has become more restricted and he has begun relying heavily on his tablet for regulation.
I have tried my usual arsenal for when times are hard. Sensory play, lots of time out in nature, lots of active play and it is helping but resetting them.
I guess in the coming months we have a lot of changes to look at and make. Adding activities, dropping activities and looking at routines to better accommodate the children and their growing needs.
We are not sure what is best to do for our kids and their anxiety half the time and it is a guessing game most of the time. We do our best and we adapt when needed but no we don’t feel we ‘have it’.
