So we are a few weeks into the ‘summer holidays’ (I say summer holidays like this as ours in theory are to continue long term with fun becoming learning naturally). We are meant to be as a family deschooling, no formal learning, no pressure, just remembering what it is like to exist outside of a formal institute. However my children crave knowledge and although this could be a great argument as to why they desperately need to deschool it would be wrong of me as a parent to suppress their natural curiosity and drive for learning, so we are enabling them and organically transitioning into unschooling/life learning.
We have been strewing items (strewing is when items of perceived interest or education are put in sight/reach of the child for them to discover on their own terms ) or putting out interest baskets for the children. Some have been a great success and others we have removed back into storage for another time as the kids have had no interest. This has been wonderful for us as parents, as we are getting to learn what sparks the kids interests and imaginations. We had a little struggle to start with as they didn’t know they were allowed to touch the baskets and I didn’t want to draw their attention to them as they should be allowed to explore them without coercion, so we ended up with a stalemate and the baskets weren’t touched for a week. After a brief conversation they are now frequently explored and the children love them. Although one of the changes we have had to make is how many resources we are putting out for the children, we have been giving them too much choice and it has been overwhelming them. We have therefore massively reduced the number to a few items of interest for just that day.
One of the key things in unschooling is allowing the children to follow their interests and to not enforce your will upon them. To allow autonomy. We were intending to have a free flowing day, allowing the children to float to and from whatever activity they cared to partake in and be there to support their learning as they required it. This has lasted all of two weeks and not because of the child we thought would struggle.
We believed Riley would struggle most with this style because he has very ‘typical’ autism and has a need for routines and patterns, whereas Samantha rebels against any kind of schedule especially written (although she does need routine) due to her demand avoidance traits. We therefore thought this style of learning would be perfect for her as it lifts all demands from her. Turns out completely the opposite, she has not been coping at all and her anxiety has gone through the roof as she has no routine. She has become controlling in all other aspects of her life which for her is a clear sign she is struggling with her anxiety. Whereas Riley is coping really well with the free flowing aspect of the day. Honestly we can not second guess these children.
So we are getting the now and next board out again. I have spoken to Samantha and she doesn’t believe having a visual schedule up of the day will cause too much anxiety, so we are going to do that. Riley works really well with visuals anyway so they won’t affect him in a negative way. We will still have lots of free, unscheduled time it will now just be scheduled in (yes I actually just wrote that, oh the life of an autism Momma).
We are also giving them a little more autonomy over their snacks and timings. Samantha has to have food every few hours almost to a schedule otherwise she gets frustrated and stressed. To attempt to alleviate some of this stress we have started to make up morning and afternoon snacks the night before and the children can then help themselves to them as and when they like (unfortunately we cannot just give Samantha free reign to the kitchen as she would never stop eating, she has no off switch).
A lot of our life is about adaption and home educating the children is not going to be any different to that. We will constantly be trying stuff, then tweaking it, adapting it, then flat out changing it because the anxiety and meltdowns have reached new highs.
We are still unschooling/life learning but with much more of a routine as that is what the children need and that is the joy of a personalised private education, it can be adapted to the individual child’s need immediately, no paperwork, no meetings, no fights.
insta-ready family!
