We did things a little differently this year. Usually we have at least one guest over for Christmas that stays over for a few days. We have a big roast dinner with dessert on Christmas day and the day is a continual stop start whilst we sort food. Along with stress over unwrapping more gifts than the children can possibly open in one day, especially with the constant interruptions of having to cook and the need to closely examine, if not play with everything they open as they open it.
This year we took it easy. It was just the five of us. Having taken advice from my autism moms group we decided to do the big dinner on Christmas eve (helped by the fact it fell on a weekend so all the adults were home to help). It made a difference.
Christmas day was a lot calmer. We opened everything in one day (having cut back on gift buying) when usually with the children getting overwhelmed it takes several days. We had a buffet of picky bits on the table all day, meaning people could just graze as and when they wanted. The children had space to open gifts in their own time, playing and setting up their toys with no judgement or agenda. We even had time to watch a little TV together, which we never have time to do.
Now I’m not saying Christmas was without drama. Both me and Lela had had an aggressive stomach bug the week of christmas (I had picked it up from Butlins, Lela from her work). All of us bar Richard had the flu, with it hitting me and Lela particularly hard (2 weeks of barely able to lift our heads off the sofa), which continued throughout Christmas. The children were evil in anticipation of christmas. Due to anxiety their behaviour was exhausting. They hated each other (showing it through shouting, screaming and aggression) and due to me being ill I couldn’t even get them out for a run around, it was not fun.
The days following Christmas we had meltdowns, arguments and physical fist fights we had to break up (just to clarify the children were the ones fighting). However the actual day itself was relaxing, mostly calm and fun.
Although in future years we may have people over again, it was kind of a fluke we ended up just the five of us this year, we will definitely be moving Christmas dinner to either Christmas eve or boxing day. It is so much less stressful not having to leave the room every five minutes to check on food or peel something and it left us time to actually spend with the children and each other. Family win.
