Our first week of home education began with not being able to leave the house as I was looking after Samantha who was still self isolating, so to be honest it very much felt like a half term albeit a very restricted one. However since then we have tried to make the most of the children still being in school and have frequented our local play barn/farm enjoying the peace while we can.
We are currently deschooling Riley and ourselves, as parents (as we will Samantha when she finishes school). We are not suggesting any kind of learning, if it occurs naturally (like he asks a question) then we enable it but we are giving him time to reset and adjust to our new normal, which is completely stepping away from a formal education both in a formal institute and at home.
I have already had a wobble about not doing enough actual education with Riley, apparently the parents are the ones who need to deschool the most.
Deschooling is the adjustment period a child (and their parents) go through before settling into home educating. It is a period of time (usually one month for every year of the child’s formal education), where the child generally does no formal learning. This allows them to regulate themselves and regain a natural love of learning, before embarking on a more holistic (usually) way of learning that they are more free to investigate themselves.
The panic has set in as it has all become real. I have always found it hard to say yes to the children, even over the silly stuff like the route we walk into town. It is hard giving up the control and learning as a parent to enable them, not block them.
I will say I am very lucky to have had Lela off on holiday for the second week (the first week alone with Riley) making the transition for me easier. It’s always easier with extra parental back up and for that we are very thankful.
We have just settled into what we naturally do with the children anyway, just talking to them about everything we do. They naturally ask lots of questions and we answer them in an honest but age appropriate way. Of course at the moment it is just Riley as Samantha is still in school but I’m not sure whether it makes it harder or easier. I’ve got to admit it is weird walking Riley to school to collect Samatha, knowing he doesn’t go there anymore and in a really short time none of my children will.
At the beginning of the second week we walked into town and complete panic set in. I spent the entire time waiting for the ‘wag’ police to stop me. I’m not even sure if the ‘wag’ police exist anymore and may very well be showing my age. Of course everything went fine, no one challenged us and we completed our shopping without arrest. I would like to say I am over this fear now but I constantly wait to be challenged by people as to why my child/ren aren’t in school
Into our third week, Riley had been unwell and as the week went on it caught up with me as well. The nice thing about home educating is instead of having to send him into school, or feeling guilty about keeping him off because it is ‘only’ a cough and cold, he had time to heal and as a result had begun to get over it a lot quicker than usual and no guilt involved for watching TV or playing board games all day, as learning takes place everywhere.
It has not all been sunshine and rainbows. Riley has struggled a lot with transitions. He has had a lot of meltdowns and has spent a lot of time unreachable. It is one of the many reasons we are home educating and why we have brought it forward. He needs time to heal, he needs down time, to be withdrawn when he needs it and to connect when he can. Not to be forced into situations he can’t deal with on somebody else’s timetable. We have had struggles everyday and in complete honesty it has been far from all fun and games but the reality is that isn’t our life. However, overall Riley is much happier, calmer and so very talkative.
Riley is that much calmer he is actually willing to try foods he hasn’t looked at for over 18 months. So far he has eaten a jacket potato (and most potato is a big heck no) and he has demolished two boiled eggs (egg is another heck no). So absolutely I will take this Riley over depressed, broken, school Riley any day, as slowly our happy, flappy boy is coming back.
